When I started VIMS I had 2 things in mind, physical health and mental peace for kids launching out into the world for the first time on their own. In my opinion, it can be one of the toughest times in a person’s life. Is it exciting and fun and carefree? Sure!! But it is also daunting, overwhelming, scary and lonely at times. In our world of social media and immediate gratification it can be hard to focus on one’s own path and pace without feeling behind or somehow inadequate because that job hasn’t landed yet or the marriage isn’t happening fast enough, perhaps it’s the anxiety of feeling like all your friends are making money and you aren’t...the list goes on and on.
Mental health is so important, it is the base and foundation of our being, it steers our ship so to speak. So, let's talk about the need to actually take care of this aspect of our selves. Young adults are among the largest population to experience mental health issues. VIMS makes mental health a priority by providing resources, giving back to organizations that focus their support on young adults and by offering our multivitamin to supplement where students and growing adults need.
Let’s talk about the pressure men still feel to provide and be strong, yes times are very different from the 1950s but the stigma lives on and it is real for many men just starting to adult. Young men experience higher rates of mental health challenges than young women (depression, anxiety and substance abuse). Young adult men are also significantly more likely to die by suicide than women in the same age group.
With adulting comes the realization that identities change and shift as we grow. I have a son who has spent his whole life competing on the soccer field, starting when he was 8 years old and continuing through college. This year he saw it come to an end and with that came the reality of having to shift focus and perspective. His identity was strongly tied to soccer and his accomplishments on the field, he excelled, and he was recognized for his ability, family and friends associate him with the game and just like that - he became the kid who was awesome at soccer. What do you do when your identity suddenly changes? How do you gracefully transition into your next phase? Is it wrong to mourn the passing of your old self? These are just a few of the questions that should be normalized and talked about. All the feelings that seem to be foreign, the things you feel like nobody else is dealing with are often being felt by an overwhelming number of others as well.
Parents what can you do to help? Try these 4 things recommended by author and professor Laurence Steinberg, PHD:
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Provide love, support and reassurance! Being a safe place for your child to turn to for emotional support is critical, especially during transitions. It's ok to say, “These are big changes for you – how are you holding up?”
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Try to minimize stresses in your child's life. Sending gift cards, providing a babysitter, tickets to an event or a weekend away are great ways to support them. If you are a source of stress, do something to mitigate that. Don’t constantly talk about your own problems that does not help them feel less stressed.
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Help your child manage stress. Let them know there are healthy ways to deal with stress such as exercise, sleep, yoga, taking a walk, eating well or meditation for example. If you notice that your child is turning to alcohol or drugs as a mean to cope, say something about it without being judgmental.
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Tell your child about any vulnerabilities that they might not know about, such as any family history of substance abuse or mental illness. As hard as it may be to talk about, they deserve to be informed so that they can make better decisions about their own health.
In recognizing Men's Mental Health month, we at VIMS just want to say that we hear you, support you and love you! Below is some info on resources that we hope you will use if you feel you need it. Let's normalize talking about how we feel, let' break the stigma that men have been dealing with for way too long.
Peace & Health-
Stace @ VIMS
Resources:
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988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
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Call 800-950-6264 or Text "Friend" to 62640 for the Young Adult HelpLine for Mental Health
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Call 800-662-4357 to reach SAMHSA: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services which offer 24/7 resources for addiction treatment and mental health support
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Call 877-565-8860 to reach the Trans Lifeline Hotline
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Call 866-488-7386 or Text 'START' to 678-678 to reach the Trevor Project 100% confidential and 100% free for those who want to talk to a trained LGBTQ Counselor